Suspended animation. A delicious moment of divine balance between light and dark, warmth and chill, completion and creation. The equinox crests this coming Sunday as autumn extends her harvesting hand with an invitation to pause, take a deep and nourishing breath, and prepare our transition into the next season.
Suspended
I’ve always had an affinity for the sea. As a lifelong pacific coaster, it was part of my culture—a place to play, relax, party, sunbathe, and cleanse the soul.
From a distance.
Occasionally I would wade in the shallow surf, but most of my engagement was done from the beach, an overlooking cliff, or a boat. When I entered the ocean beyond knee high, my system became highjacked—paralyzed lungs, pounding heart, and a rushing roar in my ears.
As a decent swimmer, I knew my bodily reaction was illogical. But with twenty-plus years of managing a respiratory condition that regularly put me at risk for suffocation, it was clear what this physical piracy was all about.
Taking the Plunge
On a trip to Maui in my late twenties, I went on a catamaran cruise with my friends, perfectly content to stay aboard and forego the snorkeling. Aware of my enduring hesitation, they encouraged me to try anyway with reassurances that I was in good hands with the crew and with them. Tension squeezed my insides, but FOMO got the better of me.
Fins, check. Mask, fine. The snorkel was a bit clumsy, but I’d figure it out. Easing in, I gently put my face into the water and the breath pirate showed up: my lungs refused to move any air. I practiced breathing through the tube with my face out of the water and once I synced it up, I tried again. Hearing my Darth Vader breath was enough to shut down my lungs again.
Sorry guys, but this isn’t for me. I’ll see you back on the boat.
Landlubber
I tried snorkeling a few more times over the years and learned to tolerate the fear a bit better, but my body just couldn’t settle enough to appreciate and receive the magical marine offerings. By then, I was content enough to enjoy the seascape from a warm stretch of sand, drink in hand. My fear made FOMO a non-issue.
“I wanted freedom, open air and adventure.
I found it on the sea.”
~ Alain Gerbeault ~
The Tides of Change
A dear college friend was born and raised in Oahu, so when I had a chance to visit many years later, he was excited to show me the local hangouts that most tourists didn’t know about. We skipped the public beaches and headed toward North Shore.
My cup overflowed—catching up, eating the most delicious BBQ shrimp from remote roadside food trucks and chocolate haupia pie from Ted’s Bakery, and crouching through thick off-road bushes to bask on flawless little beach nooks seemingly untouched by human hands.
Heading back to the truck, he said he’d saved the best stop for last. After such a magnificent day with a great friend, what could possibly top this?
Yep, take a guess.
A Deep and Nourishing Breath
Another journey through a tangle of roadside brush, we arrived at a majestic black rock outcropping overlooking a small, secluded lagoon. It was otherworldly—breathtaking in a good way.
“CATCH!”
In one fluid movement, he tossed me a mask and dove into the lagoon below. “Come on! This is the best snorkeling you’ll ever see!”
Feeling the panic rise, I yelled back, “What about the gear?”
Through his signature laugh-howl, he called back up, “Karl! You don’t need gear! Just hold your breath and jump!”
A glittering epiphany enveloped me, as sparkly as the waiting water below.
I took my breath (back), and jumped in.
“There’s no sensation to compare with this.
Suspended animation, a state of bliss.”
~ David Gilmore ~
Suspended Animation
No alarm bells, no phantom buccaneer seeking to steal my respiratory treasure.
Just bliss.
It was in that moment of divine balance—that thin sliver between light and dark, warmth and chill, completion and creation—where I was liberated from the shackles of fear and sent sailing into freedom.
If I “held” my breath tight to me, it couldn’t be stolen. My breath belonged to me and was no longer for the taking.
“Freedom is the oxygen of the soul.”
~ Moshe Dayan ~
From Fear to Freedom
As we stand suspended in the balance between the warmth of summer and the coming chill of fall, I invite you to notice the space between fear and freedom. Is it a tiny gap where one supportive push can deliver your liberation? Is it a yawning chasm that will require building a bridge to usher you safely from fear to freedom? Either way or both, we are entering the harvest season which beckons us to reap what we have so diligently sown in the spirit of change and growth, and make our freedom a reality.